Understand, Accept, Move On

Understand, Accept, Move On

As to whomever reads these posts knows, I work at a bank in Pawhuska as a part-time receptionist. For the hours of 8:45-3:30, I sit at a desk in the front of the bank and greet people as they come in while answering and transferring phone calls to their requested needs.

It is not a bad job in itself. In all honesty, and to most, it is an absolutely amazing job. Though the pay is not great, it's steady and consistent. The only problem with it is me. I cannot blame any other for it. But in the end, neither can I "blame" myself. I come by it naturally.

My first job was a part-time position at a nonprofit organization called "The Book Samaritan". The purpose of the organization was to receive new or used school books from the state or families who did not want them, and supply those materials to needy homeschooling families. My job was to unpack the shipped books and organize them. Put together the orders. And ship out completed package orders. It was a good job for me as I worked alone. The only employee. Occasionally my boss would come by to see how things were going, but for the most part, I was by myself.

My next three jobs I took up pretty much all at once. The Housing Authority (as a record's assistant), Pawhuska Literacy (as the sole office worker and web designer), and then my favorite, Allen Bro. Feedstore. The first two I didn't like very well. Not enough energy and physical stamina in the day to make me feel as if I had spent a full days work. However, the feedstore, was awesome. I came in during the same time that my younger brother, Lynn, was working there and our boss was remodeling the show room. So I got to try my hand not only at feedstore management and sacking, but also putting in a ceiling, air conditioning conducts, and mass painting. It was alot of fun! And yea, made me completely exhausted at the end of the day.

From there, I came to the bank. Better pay, but hated the conditions. Haha! Even saying this, would on the surface be completely ridiculous! Let's compare...air conditioning - little to no cooling, medium wage - $0.50 more then medium wage, sitting in a desk practically doing nothing all day - sweating away the hours and enjoying the few moments to just sit down and do nothing. Haha!

Even so, a couple days ago I really wanted to quit. It wasn't just the conditions, but my fellow workers that I think pushed me over the edge. Because of me wanting to do more, but can't because of where I'm placed, and them looking over my shoulder wondering what I am doing with my time and giving me things to do so that I don't appear to the public to be doing nothing when i'm not gripping the phone or speaking to a customer bugs the dickens out of me. (lol, yea I didn't really focus on grammar or sentence diagramming right there...but who give a rat's backside anyway) haha!

My mother helped me out on this one. She brought me back down to a focusing point which is what I needed to grasp again. The good thing is I have a job. I'm making the money I need to leave and pursue my destiny. That right there should be enough for me to continue until the end of this summer.

I understand why I'm upset. I accept that there is something I can do about it. And I'm going to move on from feeling sorry for myself and deal with it. Always keeping in my sights the end goal.